There Are No Clean Getaways

No Country For Old Men (2007)


"No Country For Old Men" took away many awards at the past Academy Awards. Everybody and their mother had seen it so I decided to take a peek at this highly acclaimed movie.

"No Country" was adapted from a novel written in 2005. The movie takes place in Texas in 1980 along the US/Mexico border. Violence is increasingly on the rise or so I think sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) says. Can't tell, he mumbles through the whole movie. He starts the movie off by arresting a hit man Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) who then escapes from prison. All while this is going on, Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) is out hunting when he comes across the scene of a deadly wild-west type shootout. Except isntead of finding pistols and the like he finds high-powered assault rifles as well as a large amount of drugs. He finds one man alive (who is as good as dead) and asks him where the "last man standing" was. The man only speaks Spanish and asks for water.

A short distance from the massacre Moss finds a satchel filled with cash. He steals the money and leaves the man to die. Later he ends up returning to the scene of the massacre with a gallon of water. Big mistake. Some Mexicans come back for their cash and take some shots at Moss only to have Moss escape. Moss returns home and puts his wife on a bus for Odessa, Texas where he believes she will be safe. Then Chigurh is hired as a hitman to get the money back. Only, he kills the people that hire him and goes after the money for himself. And that's the basic idea of "No Country".

First order of business, why was this as highly acclaimed as it was? Yeah the acting was decent. Javier Bardem deserved the best supporting actor award. The cinematography was great. The story got old, quick. Seems Tommy Lee Jones prefers to talk over solving murders. Not only does he waste about half the movie talking about nonsense that nobody cares about, you can hardly understand a word he says. Please Mr. Jones, I know you are old but please speak up so we can at least hear your boring dialogue.

The action was top notch though. Those scenes kept me on the edge of my seat. One big problem I had with the movie was that it was stuck on a loop. Here's the story as I see it. Man steals money. Man hides money. Man hunts man who hides money. Man hunting man kills people for no reason. Man hiding money escapes. Man chasing man hunting man fills 10 minutes with meaningless dialogue. Man hides money. Man hunts man who hides money. Man hunting man kills people for no reason. Man hiding money escapes. Man chasing man hunting man fills 10 minutes with meaningless dialogue. Alright you get the point. I felt the movie could have been cut down to less than 2 hours without all of Jone's preachy dialogue about whatever it was he was trying to get across. Not really sure what that was though because I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HIM!!!

Another gripe I have with this movie is the ending. What, did they run out of film while taping? I thought I fell asleep while Jones rambled on and woke up during the credits. Nope, the movie just cut off out of nowhere. Where's the resolution? Are you kidding me, Moss gets killed by someone who's part in the movie was meaningless unless you include the fact that he kills Moss. The main baddie doesn't even get the satisfaction of killing him? Give me a break. I will never put stock into what the Academy has to say about film. They are CLUELESS. I'll give it a generous (out of 5):

Fear Changes Everything

The Mist (2007)



Going into this one I wasn't sure what to expect of it. "The Mist" is the adaptation of the Stephen King novel by the same name. Movies based on Stephen King novels are usually pretty "blah" with a few exceptions here and there. Overall I was pleasantly surprised by this little film that slipped under the radar.

The basic plot of the film is pretty straightforward. In a small town in New England there is a terrible electrical storm. The next day an artist, David Dryton (Thomas Jane), goes into his studio and finds his recent painting demolished. A tree has crashed through his house. No harm no foul he thinks. Then he notices some strange mist coming down off the mountain. He chalks it up to nothing more than two storm systems meeting. He heads into town to the local supermarket. Suddenly a man with a bloody nose comes running up to the door of the supermarket who seems terrified by something he's witnessed in the mist. The mist overtakes the supermarket and a scream is heard through the mist. They heed the man's warning to lock the doors. Turns out, there's all kind of freaky monsters hiding in the mist waiting for those stupid enough to venture into it. Now the townspeople in the supermarket must deal with their fear of the terror that awaits them.

Stephen King came up with the idea for his novel when he was in a supermarket. His basic idea involved people somehow being trapped in a supermarket. Stephen King is very inventive and I thought it panned out into a very well made film.

My biggest beef with this film is the less-than-stellar CGI. I've seen similar work done on SciFi channel originals. This is not something to be happy about. Especially the tentacle monster. Could it look any more fake. Also, the acting was not exactly what you call top-notch. Look at the cast. A bunch of faces that look familiar but you can't place what you've seen them in before. The character interactions were pretty good but you see many characters doing things that make you say "what were they thinking?" The religious zealot is probably the most memorable person in the whole movie. Towards the end she got past the point of "person you hate in the movie because of their character" all the way to "this character is so annoying, someone please do her in".

Oh, the ending. Probably one of the most memorable endings in cinematic history. To me it goes right up there with Planet of the Apes. Except you don't see this ending coming. After watching the ending, I said to myself, "I cannot believe that just happened." The ending alone is worth watching the entire movie for.

Like I said this was a pretty good horror movie. In most horror movies you know exactly what is gonna happen next. In "The Mist", you never know what is gonna happen next. If you get the chance, check this one out (out of 5):

No!

Silent Movie (1976)




















When you think of Mel Brooks, a few of the best movies ever made come to mind. You think about Spaceballs, History of the World: Part 1, and Blazing Saddles. Silent Movie probably also comes to your mind as well.

Silent Movie is nothing more than that... a silent movie. It's a Silent Movie about a down-on-his luck director trying to get back in the game by making a silent movie to save Big Picture Studios from bankruptcy. I imagine the silent movie they were making was about a director making a silent movie about a director making a silent movie... you get the picture.

Silent Movie suffers from one major flaw that it cannot possibly avoid, it relies on nothing but sight gags. Yeah a lot of other Mel Brooks movies rely on sight gags, but the dialog is also there to. Obviously in a silent movie you aren't going to have that. On the other hand though, you have one of the biggest displays of irony in a movie ever when the only character to actually say a line in Silent Movie, is world famous mime Marcel Marceau. The point is, what is it you remember most about Mel Brooks? Is it the sight gags, or the dialog? Obviously it's the latter.

Another ax you like to hear people grind about this movie is that for a Mel Brooks movie, it's not raunchy or adult-oriented. Yeah, your five-year-old will not get about 99% of the jokes but for once Mel Brooks keeps it clean. That's not a problem I have with the movie, just something I've noticed others complain about.

One thing you can say about this movie is that the premise is original. Also, you can't help but love how the stars portray themselves in the movie.

Overall it's not the funniest Mel Brooks movie, nor is it even in the top three but it's worth a look. Pretty much, if you like sight gags, you will love this movie. If you don't, well then you are in for 90 minutes of torture. Then again, why would you even be watching a Mel Brooks comedy if you didn't like sight gags?

I'll give it a very solid (out of five):

Movies You Watch

Movies you watch is a blog dedicated to movie reviews. Pretty much, whatever movie I just watched, I'll put a review up for it. They might not be as in depth as an Ebert review but I'll do my best.